|
|
[ sunday notions ]
Dec 28th, 2003 7:23:27 pm EST
I sat on my sofa in the living room, looking out of my huge patio window doors, watching a small group of five female deer sitting quietly in the wooded part off to the side of my house. Rain drops fell slowly, lightly and the sky was grey.
I felt a maternal urge to feed them on such a day. After cautiously opening the patio door, I moved toward the big paper bag of apple-scented corn I bought on a whimsy a couple of months ago. I am not quite by nature, I am more similar to the expression of, "like a bull in a china shop". It has it's benefits (people love to follow action it seems), but I am training myself to have more control over my motions on a consistent basis, a lesson I must not have learned previously.
I inched the bowl of corn out of the bag without a rustle, and by the time I was ready to toss handfuls from the edge of the enclosed patio, the deer were already walking over. (It's actually this domestication that worried me enough to go online to see if I was messing with their migratory patterns and such, which of course I was, since animals are wild and so forth, but I do make sure to spread the corn out well so as not to cause any infections if a sick deer were to eat alongside a healthy deer). With that said, this act caused inner happiness, and also sedated that internal drive that's been cropping up lately to fill my brain with positive energy and images, and even to capture the essence of my town.
Relaxation overcame me in a stronger dose after smoking half a joint. A Sunday pleasure, allowing the mind to drift away. Such a good state for arousal, too.
This silly image of myself, in a "Run Lola Run" animated sequence of me in a skirt, jacket and high heels leaping up giant step after giant step entered my mind and caused a laugh. I guess I'm on my way up.
I'm a positivist. I believe communication and connection between individuals is the highest goal. And my perception or relation with the world has been troubling as of late. This blog in part is my attempt to pull it all together again, some meta-narrative to keep this hyper-aware gal on track.
During holiday shopping I purchased a half-priced book, "Fine Tune Your Brain: when everything's going right and what do to when it isn't.." by Genie Z. Laborde, of "Influencing with Integrity" recognition. This subject matter touches my core and makes me smile.
When I reached the halfway mark through the book I noticed a decidedly touchy-feely criterion that guided the processes of congruent communication, a by-product of 80's heady potential for collaborative effort, before the cynical, market-minded 90's intervened. (Which is a statement I should really re-enforce with evidence, but, fuck it for now). I was tickled over this unorthodox methodology, and what I can only label as some liberal, California-esque warm fuzzies, the pure idea of it's practical application is so merry-making since it is so outside of my own realm.
Some people have a fascination with say, powerful people, such as this book I plan to buy, "Seductress: Women Who Ravished the World and Their Lost Art of Love" by Betsy Prioleau. Mine is with exemplary communication, also a powerful tool.
I'll probably need to work on editing down my thoughts in the future, but for now, I say all of this as a stepping stone that leads to balancing my relationships with people and experiencing the full spectrum of sensuality and sexuality. I feel duty bound, but it keeps the guilt away and my panties moist. No complaints here.
Mood: contemplative
| cocktail delight |: [email protected]
0 comments.
[ a natural desire ]
Dec 27th, 2003 11:55:49 pm EST
I have made the long trip home.
Finally I can relax my feet, shoulders and the full length of my body. I am looking forward to prancing off to my bed in a moment and letting my fingers fall soft on my inner folds. I love that nubby circle of mine.
Trying to find proper inspiration online is an elusive task. The Net is lacking the particular blend of content I seek to become aroused (stories, visuals, composed thoughts (and not rehashing of some personal baggage), or it may be that I lack motivation to sort through a gazillion sites. Luckily, my mind is already on a certain train of thought.
My erotic thoughts lately revolve around being a sweet girl who is admired by a deft man, in that intoxicating mixture of soft encouragement, parental sternness and sexual firmness. Yes, I am more than happy to assume the role of the frolicking girl, unbounded, yet bounded, and let someone else guide the process. I am selfish when it comes to wanting to enjoy my delight. Thankfully, there are those out there, male and female, that also enjoy the slow build.
Happy holidays.
| cocktail delight |: [email protected]
0 comments.
|
|
|
|
|
. [ cocktail_delight's Friends ] .
|