Moved. Jun 12th, 2004 5:52:07 pm EST
I've moved all my posts from blogger over here (thankfully there aren't many).
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Biographical information Jun 12th, 2004 5:50:04 pm EST
It occured to me today that perhaps I might want to explain a little bit more about myself, to give these experiences better context. I like the idea of remaining anonymous, but some woman trying to break her limitations might be more interesting if you knew why.

I'm 26 years old and have avoided romantic relationships and intimacy nearly my whole life. Over the last few years I think I began to accept this as who I am, yet abnormal according to the world's view. I don't agree with my acceptance of my situation/feels now. Honestly I feel a little strange about being 26 with a huge lack of sexual experience with someone else (I've had some, but not as much as someone my age normally would have), but have realized I can either continue to feel wierd about it, or do something to change it. I'm a pro at going solo (have been doing that since I was 12 or 13), but with a partner (or two), I have a lot to explore.

posted by pussyland @ 2:16 PM


I might be meeting up for a drink with someone from AFF later this week (I don't plan on drinking by the way, but it seems like a good public place since it would be later in the evening). I think it will be a go unless I chicken out. I want to do this, but this is so opposite of anything I've ever done. Well, now...that's not true. I met up with someone for coffee I met online. Nothing ever came of it, but we met and chatted. I have traveled with people I've met online, but I knew those people for awhile (and had other connections to them). Meeting up with someone for the sole purpose of a sexual relationship is new to me though, so I'm trying to be careful and safe, but not let my anxiety stop me from trying something new.

He seems to be very interested in a threesome. That would be fine with me, but as of yet, not sure where I would find the third person.

posted by pussyland @ 1:53 PM


Just finished a hot message exchange session with a guy who's fantasy involved a 18-year-old niece. I should be sleeping, but instead I exchanged messages for over an hour, and my orgasm was more intense than any time recently. I left the guy my mailbox number on that chat line system. Hopefully he and I can hook up for more and eventually go live.

A number of responses at AFF. I need to scan some pictures in, and find out if I want to meet any of the people. I don't think at this point I could just introduct myself to someone and then go fuck, I would definitely have to get to know them a bit so I knew they were trustworthy.

I investigated some Nevada brothels this week. Sheri's Ranch will accept single women. The cost of getting to Vegas, plus the cost of a "party" would be a lot, but worth it for the experience. The idea of a local escort would be cheaper, but I really worry about the illegal aspect and possibility of getting arrested.

I had an interesting conversation with some friends tonight. They could not understand why anyone would want to role play being raped, pursue rougher sex, or have incest fantasies. Usually I would be open with my friends about my thoughts (one of my friends knows I'm interested in going to a NV brothel), but the fact that those things turn me on was not something I could share tonight. I know for these friends those issues are tied to their past experiences, so it's understandable they would feel that way, but they can't imagine that others who role play those things (safely and responsibly) could be "normal." It's good to have to censor myself sometimes however, because it reminds me of what I want in a partner...even if they don't join in on what turns me on, at least will accept that it does.

posted by pussyland @ 3:42 AM

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Monday, June 07, 2004 Jun 12th, 2004 5:49:31 pm EST
Monday, June 07, 2004

I signed up with Adult Friend Finder to try to get some partners to experiment with. I'm not totally sure how to start these type of relationships and be safe and comfortable, but I think I'll give it a shot. I think I know myself well enough to say I'll have to get to know the person a bit before doing anything sexual. I don't need to be dating, but need to know I can feel safe with them.

Related to that...if I'm going to be getting it on soon, I need to look into birth control, so I need to make an appointment this week. I haven't been on anything in awhile. Oh yeah, the exam too. heh.

posted by pussyland @ 8:43 PM

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Saturday, June 05, 2004 inching towards the goal Jun 12th, 2004 5:49:00 pm EST
Saturday, June 05, 2004
inching towards the goal

Tonight on the chat line I exchanged messages with people. I talked with someone live for a few minutes, but got kinda nervous and "got disconnected." I felt bad though, so I called back, but I think he was gone. Exchanging messages was fun... I was telling naughty stories to one man, and I finally go to the end of the story (it was told in a few messages, because of the time limit) and I think he got kicked off. It was sad, but it was very hot! I think he was on the line last night, so I'll probably look for him again.

Keeping my facts straight about myself is hard though. I have to remember the age, height, weight, etc that I'm telling people, just in case we talk again. Apparently I sound like "real" girl compared to other women who call in. I had to get off the phone, because I'm leaving to hang with a friend, and it's sorta too bad, because a bi-woman called in to talk to other bi-women. Hopefully she'll be on again soon.

I need to learn to talk dirty and be more open to fantasy. I'm creative, surely I can make up stories. :-)

posted by pussyland @ 6:46 PM


shopping

Today I did some fun shopping after working overtime. I wasn't planning to stop at one of the local adult shops, but when I drove right by it I thought...why not. I hadn't been there in awhile. I bought a small butt plug (for novice...it should just be call My First Butt Plug or something). I'm psyched to play with that, because it's something I haven't explored, but am interested in. I bought a new vibrator (which seem to be something I'm collecting lately, I have bought a couple others in the last month), to reach my G-spot. I also got a couple types of lube as well. I have some KY-type stuff already, but wanted something more substantial for the plug.

I pulled up into the parking lot for my apartment building and I actually thought, "I should move to a place with cheaper rent, so I'll have more money for porn." I laughed when I said it, but when one of my goals is to own a adult store or run one, I need to fix my credit, so extra money every month would be nice.

I'm thinking seriously, once I get past my self-consciousness, of doing phone sex as a part-time job. I found a site online that seems to take a percentage of what people charge, but that seems a lot better than working for another company. If I actually begin to talk to people on that chat line and get better at it, I might try it.

posted by pussyland @ 9:48 AM


Tonight I called a chat line (ladies talk for free). I felt too shy to actually talk to anyone personally, but had a ton of messages coming my way. I got pretty hot listening to the guys say how they were stroking themselves. I want to get off with someone via the phone, but it's like the words won't come out of my mouth. I feel inhibited. One person's introduction message was especially exciting, and I got off with my egg-shaped vibrator by listening to it over and over. Kinda lame I guess, but I never thought I would be turned on by dirty talk. Now I just need to get over my shyness and talk to the people live.

posted by pussyland @ 3:22 AM

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