Cruel cruel fate. part two | Jan 16th, 2004 7:39:08 am EST |
As I got older I became different. Before I was awkward with women. My being short now for some reason never was a problem in fact it is now a huge plus. My hairy body turn to grey in a pattern that a Hollywood make-up artist would be hard pressed to duplicate. I could not only feel comfortable talking to beautiful women but at times hard pressed to keep out of their bed. It was amazing. Then I found my wife. She was different than anyone I ever dated and if I didn't have my skunk lessons I never would have seen what a beautiful, beautiful person she was.
I met her on line. We talked via email for months before meeting face to face. One of the first things she said was "I' not plump. I'm fat." and she was but she has a way about her that you seem to see her weight last. More about her later.
I had it all going on and then I got cancer and paid a terrible price to live.
Thats all for now. I've been up for over 36 hours and need some down time.
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Mood: tired
Cruel cruel fate. part one | Jan 16th, 2004 6:45:15 am EST |
Just as you have it all figured out fate changes the rules. That's what happened to me in a big way and on so many levels the last couple of years. Here I was pushing fifty and after a life time of awkwardness and ignorance I come out on the other side into the light. Some of my shortcomings have been on physical side I'm short 5 foot 5 and hairy as hell. On the mental side I have been judgemental and didn't know how to listen to people. Oddly enough I was changed by the love of an wild animal. I found and raised my Vinny and he taught me how to see.
From the beginning I had to be very careful with him and understand him so that he wouldn't turn on me. After a while I got to see him as an individual not as a pet. He became my almost constant companion. I couldn't take him out in public because of the fuss people would make over him. Plus it is very against the law to have him. You see my companion was a skunk. My attitude before I found him was like most people. Dirty smelly skunk right? But they're not dirty or smelly. They can be mean and cranky as hell though. But you learn how to read him and calm him down. But most of all Vinny was very loving. Yes loving. He always wanted to be beside me or on my lap. He slept with me every night.
He got me thinking one night what else in the world am I missing because of my built-in prejudges. It opened a whole different world to me. Also I found that I have heard what people have been saying but I haven't been listening to what they mean. People talk to communicate ideas. The words themselves are just a tool to get close to the expressing that idea. The total idea is expressed by words, body and facial signals. The whole person. Also sometimes the key ideas or subjects are absent thereby the absence of the subject is the subject being communicated. It was a good concept to understand when you have an animal that could render your house into a total loss over a misunderstanding.
I learned that lesson just in time because I was soon to need every bit of understanding a person is able to have.
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Just like a ex-smoker | Jan 16th, 2004 5:30:46 am EST |
I've been thinking about doing one of these blogs but I couldn't find any that I really felt comfortable in. Then I ran across this one. My wife and I being very active in the swinging scene for a number of years I guess I just feel comfortable around folks that are pretty liberal about sex. OK lets see how this looks. I figure the first 2 are a test.
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Mood: contemplative
log entry 1 | Jan 16th, 2004 5:13:28 am EST |
This is attempt to voice some thought and possibly work through some of the changes that I and my wife have gone through the last couple of years.
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Mood: contemplative
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