|
first sex Jan 26th, 2004 2:09:13 am EST
occassionally i would look at her back in highschool.. i first noticed her in study hall, then when her class visited mine and she was wrestling with her friend and saw i was watching and i said awww or something. then when she was crying in the library and i yelled at the librarian for telling her to leave. she was friends with my best friends sister. she spent the night at my friends house so i took a long shower and that night we made love. first we sorta kissed and i fingered her, it was my first time doing anything sexual, my arms were a little tired, and she said my dick was alot bigger than her ex's or she somehow had shrank over time which doesnt seem right. i put it in, i dont think either of us were completely in the mood, i wasnt as attracted to her as i should have been. she has a great body, huge breasts, everything i want in a woman except one thing... she's really bitchy, which is a total turn off. so i was nailing her, she told me to slow down and not push so hard, but i had to get to full size or i wouldnt cum, but for her i slowed down and went softer but i guess there wasnt enough feeling involved and my arms were hurting. so i stopped, i didnt want to split her open, and i really didnt want blood on the floor. in the morning while she was making me lean my head on her breasts, and feel her breasts, my friend told me i should have popped her, but i knew it would have either made a mess or gotten her pregnant. she said she was on the pill but why..? why was she on the pill, she couldnt have been expecting me, who was she having sex with previously? it just doesnt make sense. she left for england, the relationship wasnt going too well, and i accidently let one of my chick friends feed me gummy bears and she found out about it... i didnt care, she was a cold bitch. when she got back from england we did a little foreplay but stopped calling eachother. i heard she's mentally breaking down now'a days and really lost, but a woman that beautiful will bounce back at any time..i still care for her, but she's of the wrong religion and she's far too beautiful for me, she doesnt realize how hot she is, she's perfect and im just a regular guy. in many ways i want to love her and spend my days with her, but in more ways i never want to see her again.
my best friend had sex nearly a year later for the first time, he said it was bliss, and it was with a kind rich girl. they broke up, but it doesnt make me feel any better, but he's my friend so i shouldnt be jelous.. he had SOMETHING real, then he lost it and was depressed for the longest time but he's ok now.. and im not. he has nearly mind depression at times, but im severly depressed at all times and no one cares. no one cares at all. this is of course hell on my sexual life. needless to say, i have a rather large porn collection. i look ok, im healthy, but im not social at all, and being social and happy is a huge plus with scoring. oh well, another day in this shitty life.
1 Comments
Mood: frustrated
|